and so it begins

first day of summer woot woot yeah?i don't know i feel a bit indifferent about all of this.yesterday was nicole's graduation and last day of school.damn i'm getting old hahah.i hate this feeling.for one thing,i'm bloated as FUCK(like that makes sense).and another thing, danny.what the fuck is up with that guy.i try to play it off like i don't care but i can't help it.i think that if i don't think about it,it'll be out of my hair.this whole ordeal with this guy is just weird and confusing.his like one big mood swing.one week he'll be like the sweetest guy,then the next he'll be a jerk.i don't know...he's just..ugh -__- he's a big cock head and needs to be turned off hahah.ahhh he's driving me insane.i really like him but..i don't know i just can't put it into words.like he almost makes me feel like and idiot for caring about him so much.i know he probably cares but he really can't show it.like he has his moments but his ass moments seem to erase his sweet moment.i think it's just me and my paper heart.hahah wow what an emo yuck!i'm so over those stupid stereotypes.
ugh danny's a jerk.nah i'm just super sensitive and take things the wrong way.whatever.i need to start being more independent.i think that's a big issue for me.he acts like i mean nothing to him so i'll just do the same.i'm over him,he's over me...ugh i don't want that -__-

the thing about danny is that he's different.this isn't some stupid naive crush.this really does seem different.or atleast it was.after he said it was over in april..it just kind of changed e v e r y t h i n g.man he'll never know what he did to me.i hate that i love him hahah.that song is almost too perfect "/ i know i'll never be the same.
you know what?i really do deserve better.i't's just so hard to forget the past.i really do miss how everything was.man i just hate being me right now.i feel so alone.all i wanted was someone to love me.someone to make me happy.some to care for me.someone for me to love,make happy,care for...
then i ended up with danny.i think i actually love him.and having your emotions toyed with just isn't fun.

ahh i hate this bullshit on with what a wonderful day i had today :P
i woke up early because rodney called asking for help.he just had me email his boss.my stomach was still hurting from the night before so already my day was crap.this summer i promised myself to run atleast 10 mintues a day so i was going to start today.mom was home that didn't make me feel any better.i ran to pauline's house because we're going to get fit together.she couldn't but i stayed at her house a bit and planned our get-fit plan.then i ran around the hood 4 times.got home.worked out some more.mom and krystal left for watch kung fu panda and such.rodney came.we were going to join mom and krystal to get nicole's ear pierced but mom said that she already left so we turned around about bought rodney's car oil.went home but didn't have keys so we had nothing to do.we parked at target but we didn't have money to waste and we didn't feel like going inside so we just sat in the car.i was burnt out so i fell asleep.i rested for what seemed like 15 minutes but it was really an hour.by the time i woke up,nicole and rodney decided to go to his house.we stayed there for maybe an hour and went home.mom and dad left so rodney had to leave.danny called and said he wanted to hang out but i kind of told him he couldn't cause mom and dad left.then he said nevermind so i asked him if he'd want to hang out another day and he just basically said no.it's probably just me but that came off really jerky.ugh whatever i don't that shit.i don't need him.

great way to start off summer huh?