back on track

yo so guess who decided to come back.i still feel like this blog's name is pretty lame but whatever.nicole has inspired me to come back.plus i have photo for first period so maybe we'll be seeing some lovely photographs?eh probably not for a few weeks because we don't have our camera's yet(well i do--2 actually) and we're doing everything non-digital.owesome right?hahah danny.ehm well anyway...basically it's going to be a long process.not like i have any readers yet so is all good :)

school started and it's pretty good.i like my schedule.ap exams are gonna suck. $83 to fail an exam?no thanks.but why take the class and not the exam?but why take the class if community college-bound?i guess i'll balance it out by not taking SATs.what an asian am i?i only took ap classes cause i actually like literature and psychology.and who knows,maybe i'll major in them :) but what sucks is that my apla class will mainly be about taking the exam.damn.

tennis is kind of gay and straight at the same time.i've been sucking then pwning.wtf is up with that?very frustrating.so there are like 10 girls for varsity doubs and i'm one of them.gotta keep it on lock or BAH BYE varsity.i think i impressed kaura(some days''/) hopfully enough that he'll save a spot for me on varsity :).i feel bad looking over to see paola,my doubs partner, at the jv end of the courts though.i remember last season that happened.i stayed with varsity and she left with jv to play one of our league schools.ouch.

so this danny guy.heh yeah.same old shit.you'd think it'd be over by now but no.the whole summer all i did was run and feel miserable.all that got me was a low BMI and an even lower self-esteem.funny how i lose weight(i'm 133 now!at the start of summer i was 142!) but still unhappy.well on tuesday i figured it out.i'm--or atleast feel--incomplete without that bastard danny.then i realized that there is a possibility that there is a chance we could never be again.how.depressing.not in a million years what i wanted.that just killed me.even more than it did back in april.it sucks to know anything can happen.as the days pass,the future becomes a little more apparent.it's really hard losing the ones you love.lately i've been feeling so alone.the whole summer actually.like the 3 most important people in my life are pretty much gone or going away.mariel-lost her freshman year because she's in corona.nicole-cause she's either at rodney's or college.danny-he's lost in his ambitions and i cannot distract him what so ever.although, i believe education is important and i can wait.

i hate that saying,"if you love someone,you'd let them go."sorry danny,i just can't.as much as i want to,i seriously can't.even if i do,it's for like 15 minutes the most.sorry,you just mean too much to me.i hate it as much as you do,i'm sure.no matter how busy i am,you magically shimmy into my thoughts whenever you want.no matter how many cute guys i see--even cuter than you!omg yeah that's possible--i can never imagine myself with them.i can't see me with anyone else.i'm trying to imagine myself with someone, but no other dream guy comes to my head.only you.i'm sorry i love you,daniel lee.